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<title>Because dreams are better than the truth by lloydshoulddyehishair</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28846593">Because dreams are better than the truth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lloydshoulddyehishair/pseuds/lloydshoulddyehishair'>lloydshoulddyehishair</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Ninjago Oneshots [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lego Ninjago</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Lloyd reflects on Harumis betrayal and how it has affected him, Projection, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:53:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>637</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28846593</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lloydshoulddyehishair/pseuds/lloydshoulddyehishair</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The heart is a remarkable thing but it is also stupid.<br/>//<br/>Lloyd reflecting on what Harumi has done to him. He would hate her if he could.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>S8 Llorumi is mentioned</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Ninjago Oneshots [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1184042</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Because dreams are better than the truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Being betrayed by someone close to you, someone you loved dearly, was a feeling that was hard to explain. It was like the floor was being ripped away from underneath your feet, leaving you to fall into a black, freezing pit of darkness. Like all warmth was fleeing your body. Like your heart was shattering into a million pieces that you could try to glue back together but there would always be some tiny holes left - tiny holes that would sometimes rip open or grow occasionally to come back and remind you of what it had felt like when they left, when they hurt you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t a nice feeling, of course, one that you wouldn’t even wish on your worst enemy for there was </span>
  <em>
    <span>no </span>
  </em>
  <span>way of stopping the hurting, no way of forgetting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And you would think that you would hate the person that did it to you - despise them like the devil himself. And that definitely would be the obvious option, the simple option, but it wasn’t always true because sometimes you still felt yourself longing for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was complicated, really. People always said the heart needed time. Everything would heal with time. Yet, years later it wasn't easier at all - the memories of them, of what they once were and what they could’ve been were still in his head. In rare times he would forget and think he was getting better, that he was finally over it but then they would come back hitting him with the force of a dozen cars and clouding his mind with their gas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took him a while to realize that he wasn’t missing </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not really. He missed the idea of her, missed the fake facade she had put on around him. The person he missed didn’t exist and even </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> she had it wouldn’t change a thing because she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span> and there was no getting her back anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought that the realization of him missing the idea of a person, rather than the actual person themselves, would help him get over it. It didn’t. It didn’t change a </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Because in the end that idea he had had of her was reality at some point, not for her maybe, but for him it had been. And he missed it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He missed her gentle voice as she would take his hand, whispering little nothings in his ear. He missed waking up in the living room after a night of watching movies, finding her head on his shoulder. He missed the empty promises that she would make him that have never been promises at all - just blatant lies to keep him close. It worked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wished it hadn’t- No, even that was a lie because the time he had spent with her was the happiest of his life, well, until she had broken his heart and the happiness these memories carried was replaced with bitterness and hurt, </span>
  <em>
    <span>but</span>
  </em>
  <span> once they were happy. He wouldn’t trade them for the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, sometimes he found himself daydreaming of what they could’ve been if things had been different - if her parents hadn’t been killed by the Great Devourer, if her personality hadn’t been nothing but an act. He would think about how different his life would have been and how different it would still be. How much happier he would be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that was all these thoughts were </span>
  <em>
    <span>dreams</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had fucked him up. He wasn’t able to do anything without thinking of her, couldn’t meet someone knew because she would immediately come up in his mind again, torturing him with her beautiful eyes and soft voice and before he knew it he felt like there was a dagger back at his throat and panic settled in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had broken him. She had broken the Green Ninja.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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